The End of the Affair – Memes

By on February 19, 2018

Memes – why I am just so out of love with them

Memes are the killer of rational thought

I used to love a good meme – they used to make me happy and be full of nice things like kittens doing cute stuff, people being inspirational or just plain funny.  Now memes are full of anger, used to stir up hate and wind people up.

The internet is amazing, it gives us the ability to research all sort of wonderful facts, why then do so many people spend so much time posting up a shed load of absolute bollocks and try to pass it off as fact?

Seems legit

No, the EU is not giving all our money away to people in other countries, no Muslims are not training hamsters to go on suicide missions at the local PetsAtHome.  Seriously, no matter how much you hate the EU, fear Muslims, or hate hamsters, just because someone creates a fancy pants meme that happens to fit into your worldview doesn’t make it true.

Most of the really idiotic memes involve racism, sexism or people whining about what they think other people are getting and they aren’t.  Although just 3 clicks away are the actual facts of the matter for some reason people prefer to believe the worst about just about everyone else on the planet that isn’t them.

Welfare has its share of memes – people banging on about the millions of pounds asylum seekers or illegal immigrants receive in buddha memebenefits, whilst pensioners/army vets or whatever get bugger all.  This did the rounds so many times that the Government even produced a paper refuting this.  If the welfare lifestyle is so fabulous and people are that jealous how come they haven’t quit their job? Because fundamentally they are not stupid and know this is not true.  All they had to do to avoid feeling hours of angry bitterness was count to 10 and then click on hoax slayer or UK Gov and find out.  But no, let’s go off half-cocked and wind everyone (including themselves) up.

Muslims –  Anything really from ‘banning Christmas’, ‘banning easter eggs’, to forcing us to eat Halal food.  All of these are untrue and again a quick internet search could clear that right up before anyone gets all hot under the collar and then shares that feeling to everyone they know online.

Pseudo-Science ‘Woo’ – Memes involving cures for cancer, onions in shoes, various bogus ‘remedies’ (which are almost always promoted by someone with a vested financial interest) circulate almost constantly.  From the anti-vax stuff right up to and including ways to resuscitate yourself by coughing, sniffing a sweaty sock and standing on the roof singing Nearer my God to Thee.  I mean if someone wants to give themselves whipped cream enemas as a preventative treatment for erectile dysfunction who am I to stand in their way?  It won’t work but it gives us all a laugh.  However, some of this stuff is pretty dangerous and could cost someone their life.

So, the meme has lost my affection.  For now at least, until I see the next one with a puppy in it!






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Poetry | Writing/Creativity

Goodbye Dear Friend

By on December 24, 2017
writing friend

So long we have been together;
46 glorious years
Full of fun and sorrow,
of laughter and of tears.

You were new and shiny when we met,
I took you for granted back then,
But now I miss you deeply,
More than I can say, dear friend.

I was my own undoing
I did not care as much as I could,
I nurtured you so little,
You were a hassle, such a chore,
I acted with resignation and resentment,
You just weren’t that exciting anymore.

So now you are gone,
I will long remember the pain our parting,
With such a huge gap left behind,
how can that ever be filled?

But nature abhors a vacuum,
And frankly, so do I,
You have been replaced,
with a false tooth.
Life is hard, but not as hard as poetry,
or my heart.

Goodbye, my old front tooth.

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The Gift That Keeps On Giving

By on November 30, 2017
double entendre carry on

We All Have Rampant Double Entendre Disease

If you have been following my blog you will know all about my dental issues.  well, me being me, nothing ever goes that smoothly and there is inevitably some drama or story that unfolds.  In this case, my recently extracted tooth decided to expel the blood clot far too early giving me what is rather helpfully called, a ‘dry socket’.  I say helpfully because I suffer from RDED (Rampant Double Entendre Disease) and this really has been the gift that keeps giving.  For those of you who remain blissfully unaware of the excruciating pain that is dry socket click here if you really must, for those who have just clicked on for the smut, continue on.

This week has been characterized by the sort of exchanges that would make the writers of the Carry On Films blush.  Everything from salty mouthwashes (inevitable) to the endless references to sockets and cavities:  throbbing sockets, empty cavities, packing a cavity/socket, filling your cavity, giving you a nice wet socket, having to put a finger in your socket when you clean your teeth.  It has almost been as much fun as Mrs Slocombe’s constant pussy puns in Are You Being Served?  ‘I have just paid the best part of £300 to have someone mutilate me, and I haven’t even got a wet socket’ – case in point.

To conclude – here is a sample of the standard conversation between myself and my husband.  This shows no signs of stopping anytime soon.  Visitors beware!

H:  I have something that will take your mind off your dry cavity!

Me: What is it?

H:  My penis?

M:  Right, remind me how that works?

H:  It can fill your cavity 😀

M:  Get fucked.

H: I am trying….how about thinking of it as a painkiller?

M:  Oh right, so how do I take that then?  Let me guess, orally or anally?

H:  Ladies choice.

And so on ad infinitum…..

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